:(

Dear Lord,
I know that I've done wrong through my thoughts, my actions, and the things that I've said, sometimes by mistake and sometimes on purpose. I have gone my own way and not put you at the center of my life. I am very sorry and ask that you please forgive me. I thank you that I can ask you this because I truly believe that your Son, Jesus, through Him, I have access to you. Please help me to follow you more closely every day and live a life which gives glory back to you. I pray this in Jesus' name.
Amen.

I love you

If you should wake tomorrow and find that I'm not here just remember how much I love you and please don't shed your tears.
Don't forget me because from a place up in the heaven, i’ll be watching you everyday..
And please don't do something "bad" because i want to be with you in heaven.

 

 

When a lot becomes too much

I've been making myself busy, it's the only way to cover up the sadness I feel.
Well I used to think that if I keep myself busy, I wont end up alone in my room crying, at least..

My boyfriend tells me I overthink everything and I spend too much time thinking but I just like to ponder the world and try my best to think of ways to make my loved ones happy. I love thinking of little things to make him smile. Or if he's having a bad day I'll think all day about what I can do to cheer him up. Same goes for my family. But I do overthink. Something bad will happen and I'll continuously think about what I could have done to prevent it even if it wasn't my fault or I couldn't control it. But really I think the good outweighs the bad for me..

Secret #2

My emotions were and still to this day are unable to be explained. I remember asking each other if it was a dream because this was too good to be true. And it was.

My anxiety took over and destroyed us. I wanted us so bad.

Do you still need me?

I'm sorry that I can't do anything right. I'm sorry that everything I touch lately seems to turn to shit. I'm sorry that i'm "manalu" sometimes. I'm sorry that I keep making the choices that were never wrong before but seem to be now. I'm sorry that I keep making these little mistakes that end up being a big deal. I'm sorry that I just can't be what everyone wants me to be.

But mostly, I'm sorry that I just don't know how to fix it.

I'm tired.

So I'm sorry. I don't know what you want from me anymore.

Secret #3

I miss you!

But no, let me correct that, I miss the old you.

I remember how it used to be when nothing else matter but you and me..

And i still remember when you said how happy i made you and you really meant it. But now, it's just a phrase you say without even thinking.

I miss the old you that cared about me and the old you that would treat me so well. The old you that would talk to me every day and always have me smiling. I miss the old you that made me happy and knew what to say at any given point in time. I miss the old us.

I miss those days when you'd call just to say hi or "I love you".

The days it was so hard just to say good-bye for a while.

I miss the old you and the old me..

The old us that could just sit and talk for hours and never run out of things to say.

I just.. really miss it.

.

I don't blame you for being you. My fault.
Insecure kills me. My bad thought almost kill us.
After all this time, i learned that i need to stop looking for the right person and work on being a right person.
I will do my best, i promise.

just sayin

Isn't she just perfect? Yes, i know.
I'm far from perfect. My good isn't good enough sometimes.
I made a lot of mistake. I'm nothing. Yeah, i know.
I'm sorry i'm not perfect like she is..

DFQ

DFQ DFQ DFQ DFQ DFQ DFQ DFQ DFQ DFQ DFQ DFQ DFQ DFQ DFQ DFQ DFQ DFQ DFQ DFQ DFQ DFQ DFQ DFQ DFQ DFQ DFQ DFQ DFQ DFQ DFQ DFQ DFQ DFQ DFQ DFQ DFQ DFQ DFQ DFQ DFQ DFQ DFQ DFQ DFQ DFQ DFQ DFQ DFQ DFQ DFQ DFQ DFQ DFQ DFQ DFQ DFQ DFQ DFQ DFQ DFQ DFQ DFQ DFQ DFQ DFQ DFQ DFQ DFQ DFQ DFQ DFQ DFQ DFQ DFQ DFQ DFQ DFQ DFQ DFQ DFQ DFQ DFQ DFQ DFQ DFQ DFQ DFQ DFQ DFQ DFQ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Did he give up on me?

Some people say: A men who truly loves you will never let you go, no matter how hard the situation is.

I'm hard to love, i know. I am sensitive and over-react. 
But he said he would never give up on me, never gonna leave me. And now it seems like he just giving up on me. Avoid me. He doesn't make the effort anymore :'(
I really don't know what to do. Will he keep his promises?

Best Day Ever

I reached my 16th, 2 days ago, last Thursday.
So I would have to say today…Umm, well technically yesterday 25th oct 2012…is probably one of the best days of my life so far. Definitely the best birthday ever!!!

It was planned by my closest friends 1ts<3 p="p">They said they will not come to my birthday party.
My tweety had said he wouldn't come too.
It's good enough to breaks me.

But they came, all of them. I was touched and shocked. I swear i loveeeeeee them :*

Not just it, some of my friend give me something. Flour, detergent and eggs smashing at late at night. Lol

I don't know what to say anymore. All i can say is "THANK YOU GUYS".
Thank you so much for throwing the best surprise birthday party eeeeeverrr.

I won't forget this for the rest of my life. I love you sooooo much guysss ...

Getting Closer

It's sunday today. It's not my birthday but it will be my day on Thursday.
Yeah, october 25th is that day i celebrate my birthday. 
Well, i'm getting older! Time goes by so fast. Seems like i just celebrated my 15th birthday. And nowww i almost reach my 16th.

It's not as exciting as when I was 7 and couldn't wait to be 8 and couldn't wait again to be 9 and always like that..

I remember when i'm just a little kid, i always celebrate the day i was born. And i'm totally happy bcause of it. But now? I don't really know how i feel.

I have no idea what I should do for my birthday...I'm not really sure if anything sounds good.
I'm on my busy activity but there will be a party in my home. Whatever gonna happen, i wish i'll be happy on that day..

Love Letter

Dear my tweety,

I know I can't give you the whole world, but I can promise you I will always love you. If I haven't told you, now i will let you know that i am so lucky to have you in my life. When you’re near me I feel like everything in the world is right, and I know I don't have to ask God for anything because as long I have you in my life I have everything I could ever want. All I want to do is spend the rest of my life making you as happy as you have made me.
My heart is yours, and even though I know I’ll make mistakes, I will never break your heart. I’ll be right beside you as we chase our dreams together.
Baby, thank you for loving me the way you do. I just hope that the love I give to you is enough for what you have done to me.

Love always,

Your tweety

I choose to love you

I’m afraid to give you my all, I’m afraid to love you completely.
But the truth is I have given you my all, and I do love you completely. I really do.

I choose him because he choose to love me for me. Not for what I can do. Not for my looks, or my physical abilities, but for who I am when I am with him and when I'm not. Whenever I make him mad, he still chooses to love me. He was willing to change for me.

I love you because I know you’re always there… there to catch me when I fall… there to listen when I need you, there when I feel alone.
I love you because you understand me… you know how I feel even when I can’t say it...
I love you because you know, you know I feel this way but can’t say it and still you wait… letting me take my time to come to terms with the fact that I love you… would give my life up to be with you… and above all… never hurt you… lie to you… or leave you. Now I hope you understand.

I LOVE YOU. I love your name, I love the way you look at me, I love the way you walk, I love your eyes, I love the sound of your laugh, to hear your voice fills my entire heart with an indescribable feeling. I love the way I can be having the worst day of my life and seeing you completely changes my mood.

Maybe it’s the way you grab my hand and hold it… or the way you kiss me… or maybe it’s the way you let me put my arms around you… maybe it’s the way you look at me… maybe it’s the way we can text or talk for hours about absolutely nothing... maybe it’s the way that I want to cry when I think about how you always try to understand me… maybe that’s it… that makes me love you.. maybe that’s what makes me miss you so much.. maybe that’s why I’m so afraid of losing you now.. maybe I love you with all my heart..
The truth is you make me happy.. I fall more in love with you each day..

He’s my “tweety”, “sugarplum”, “pumpy-umpy-umpkin”, “sweety-pie”, “cuppy cake”, “honey bunch”, “apple of my eye”, “sweetheart”, “pulpy”, “snoopy”, “scoopyscooby” and sooooo many many moreee nick. lol

He’s the reason of my smile.

You know baby, if you're reading this one, i just wanna say thank you for all :)

Something

Honestly, i'm scared.
I'm afraid, when i finallly really love you and then you leave me.

Not as good as i thought

I don't what to do, say, act or react. All i can do is be silent. I'm angry for no reason. But maybe, just maybe, i'm a little jeal****..
My Goddd, stupid me!!!

I love you tweety

When I first met you, I honestly didn't know you were gonna be this important to me.

I had someone in my life now. Someone who's willing to take my heart.
I love him for sure. More than he would ever known, more than i ever showed.

When i first met him, i didn't plan to fall in love with him.
I thought he just gonna be one of my friend. But more than i imagine, he became a part of my life.
All he ever did, any attempt, how he always try to understand me, how he never gave up on me, it made me love him even more.
I wish he could stay that way. I wish he wouldn't change, tomorrow and the next day.

He loves me for who i am. He loves me at my worst, and so i think he deserve me at my best.
All i can do is love him the way he did. I will always try my best :)

Lalalala

Kangen blog gue. Kangen nulis. Tapi ga kangen galaunya waktu nulis.
Gue udah sibuk bgt jadinya jarang nulis deh.
Kisah hidup gue pun udah jauh lebih baik. Ntar gue ceritain

Saya Kembali

Ga kerasa udah lama bgt ga nulis disini :D Aku balikkkkk xD

bad news for myself

Dapet kabar dia bakal pindah. Gatau harus ngomong apa ..
Bener-bener speechless :( :"( T.T

Kenapa sih hidup gue drama banget? Kapan happy endingnya coba? :"(
Tuhaaaan tolonggggg

How to Forget an Impossible Crush

Everyone has their "one that got away" (or two, or seven). It's time to let your old crush fade and make room for someone new in your life :")

1. Take a deep breath and make the decision now: is it time to move on? If yes, get out pen and paper and list a few reasons why it is in your best interest to get over your crush.

2. List the reasons why it is good that you two are not together. Include on this list all the things you do not like about your crush.

3. Make a plan: what will you do to steer your attention to new subjects? Take up a new activity or hobby; the more challenging, the better. It will help you focus your energies elsewhere, and possibly connect you to people who share your passion. Stay busy and engaged with activities you already care about. Call up people you like but haven't seen in awhile, and schedule time to see them over the next few weeks. The less lonely you feel, the less you will feel you "need" to be with this particular person.

4. When your thoughts drift to this person, it's okay. You can't completely stop thinking about a crush all at once. When this happens, allow yourself a few minutes of doing nothing but thinking about him/her. Then, when your time is up, gently direct your attention elsewhere. Your urge to think about this person will slowly fade over time.

Tips

• There are many people in the world with whom you could be happy. Maybe this person was one of them, maybe not. Either way, there are many people, including many you haven't met yet, who are or will be special to you. It is time to shift your focus to them.
• Avoid looking at your crush's webpages and social networking pages. Do not ask your mutual friends for details about his/her life. There is no need to keep track what he/she is doing. You have your own life to live.
• If you find yourself ruminating, remind yourself: there is no reason to waste your time on someone who does not realize how special you are. You deserve better.
• Trust that no matter what you do, this crush will fade over time.

Warnings

• Do not talk behind your crush's back. Keep those negative thoughts to yourself.
• Don't try to rush the process. You are human and it's okay to have negative feelings sometimes.
• Don't ruminate and fantasize about this person endlessly. It isn't healthy.