How to Forget an Impossible Crush

Everyone has their "one that got away" (or two, or seven). It's time to let your old crush fade and make room for someone new in your life :")

1. Take a deep breath and make the decision now: is it time to move on? If yes, get out pen and paper and list a few reasons why it is in your best interest to get over your crush.

2. List the reasons why it is good that you two are not together. Include on this list all the things you do not like about your crush.

3. Make a plan: what will you do to steer your attention to new subjects? Take up a new activity or hobby; the more challenging, the better. It will help you focus your energies elsewhere, and possibly connect you to people who share your passion. Stay busy and engaged with activities you already care about. Call up people you like but haven't seen in awhile, and schedule time to see them over the next few weeks. The less lonely you feel, the less you will feel you "need" to be with this particular person.

4. When your thoughts drift to this person, it's okay. You can't completely stop thinking about a crush all at once. When this happens, allow yourself a few minutes of doing nothing but thinking about him/her. Then, when your time is up, gently direct your attention elsewhere. Your urge to think about this person will slowly fade over time.

Tips

• There are many people in the world with whom you could be happy. Maybe this person was one of them, maybe not. Either way, there are many people, including many you haven't met yet, who are or will be special to you. It is time to shift your focus to them.
• Avoid looking at your crush's webpages and social networking pages. Do not ask your mutual friends for details about his/her life. There is no need to keep track what he/she is doing. You have your own life to live.
• If you find yourself ruminating, remind yourself: there is no reason to waste your time on someone who does not realize how special you are. You deserve better.
• Trust that no matter what you do, this crush will fade over time.

Warnings

• Do not talk behind your crush's back. Keep those negative thoughts to yourself.
• Don't try to rush the process. You are human and it's okay to have negative feelings sometimes.
• Don't ruminate and fantasize about this person endlessly. It isn't healthy.