How to Stop Loving Someone Who Doesn't Love You

Different forms of reasoning, options, desire, preference and visions affect the ‘love’ within a relationship. In this regard, this issue of our magazine highlights a love thought of by only one party.

- Realize why it is pointless to hold on. When one exerts much effort to keep love alive within a relationship and it then fails, the one trying to hold the relationship together is heartbroken because the one that they love has rejected them.

- Be honest with yourself. In such a circumstance, the one with a broken heart needs to recognize that the relationship is over and to make a clear decision to stop pursuing this person as they are unable to love in return. To do this however, assistance is often needed.

- Accept that the love is not mutual and probably never was. Psychological findings reveal the reason behind why some relationships do not work and why in some instances love cannot be reciprocated. The reason is quite simple, the loved one cannot accept love from the lover because it is not a mutual feeling, and the love is not considered by both parties.

- Be logical and consider the reasons for why it is hard to let go. There are several reasons to why it is hard to stop loving and to forget such intense love, these are due to s/he 1) Always thinking about the good qualities found within the loved one; 2) Reminiscing over any little thing from the past such as text messages and emails that were written in the heat of the moment; and 3) not speaking the truth in front of the loved one, this is, keeping the feeling of love as a secret.

- Accept and face the truth that your love is not possible. You then need to rid yourself of anything that could remind you of him such as text messages and songs you listened to. Another tip that will help you forget the person is to think that there are better people out there with whom you, as a brokenhearted person, could find true love with, a love that is felt with passion on both sides. In other words, you realize that the person you previously loved is not the perfect person.

- Apply these steps together. When applying all of these steps, the brokenhearted person can forget the memory of a love lost and all the other factors that lead you to love this person. To be released from this spiritual tension, you need to convince yourself that you will meet a better person or think that the person you previously loved is no longer important to you.

- Try and end the routine of thinking about them, over and over again. Stop saying that 1) I cannot live without you; 2) I cannot stop loving you; 3) I love this person more than any other; 4) I cannot love anyone else; 5) There is no one better than this person, they are perfect. In some cases, it can be impossible to stop loving someone, it all depends on your character and how intense your love is for someone. In the end, it's about finding happiness, not unhappiness.

If You Want To Be Successful, You Have To Stay In The Water

Do you know what I mean when I say that you have to stay in the water? Well, if you are fishing, you have to keep the bait in the water all the time. This is what is going to attract the fish to come over to your bait.

The same goes in life. If you want to close sales, you have to always go out there to meet up your clients and make your presentation. If you are a telemarketer, you have to make the calls to close the deal. In other words, you have to always be active and create activities all the time.

This is the fundamental rule to success. If you think about success but you are not doing anything about it, you will never achieve it. If you want to win a lottery, you have to buy one. Although staying in the water is not going to guarantee your success, it is the most basic key that will generate the results and reveal to you the right path to accomplish what you want in life.

For example, if you want to be the best tennis player in your country, you have to stay in the water by keeping yourself busy with training and improving your games. It is not guarantee that you will become the best after going through all the training, but it will definitely help you get you closer to your dreams and your goals.

This is why you need to constantly read books that will improve yourself and keep you motivated all the time. When you are doing the work, you are actually creating the path and producing the results that you want.

Success will not come to you automatically. You will never become a millionaire by accident. It is only when you are ready and when the opportunity arrives, you grab it and you will launch your life to another level.

The key here is to always be ready. And how can you do that? The answer is by keeping yourself in the game at all times. Do you think that Michael Jordan and Tiger Woods become the best player because of luck? Not likely, they trained hard by being in the water all the time, and when the time comes, they grab the chance and they become the best player in their field.

It is the same for Donald Trump, Bill Gates and every other extraordinary people out there. They are ready when the opportunity falls into their hands. They grab the opportunity and run with it.

If you are not ready, it will be useless even if the opportunity presents to you. Take back the example of being the best tennis player. If you are not ready and suddenly someone offers you a chance to play in the national championship, do you think you can win? You know the answer.

And nobody will actually offer you an opportunity if you are not in the game. No one will suddenly offer you to play in a championship if you are not even playing tennis. It all comes back to the same principle again. You have to stay in the water so that the opportunity will come to you.

There is no accident in this world. Everything happens for a reason. When you closed a big deal because of your relationship with your client, it is not accident or luck too. It is because you make the effort to get to know your client, you make the effort to tell your client that you are working in the industry, you make the effort to ask for the sale from your client, you are the one who tells your client about what you do and in the end, you successfully closed the case.

Everything is working perfectly and it is not happened by luck. You are able to do it because you stay in the water long enough that a big fish come over and bite the bait that you keep in the water for some time. This is how it works.

Therefore, if you want to be successful in life, always play the game and keep yourself active by working on it. Never give up and be hard working in making your dreams a reality. You will eventually create a path and somehow ‘get lucky’ and be successful.

The Mantra Of Success – Think Positive

Everyone knows that if he or she wanted to be successful, he or she must think positive and stay positive. So, are you thinking positively?

Thinking positive is not the only key that you are going to require to open the door to success; however, it is considered one of the most important ones. Without this key, you will never accomplish great success in your life.

Just take a moment to think about it, how many times when you are facing an obstacle, you think positively and as a result, you discover the great things behind it? Or maybe there are times when you think negatively, and eventually they turn out as bad things?

Do you realize that most of the time when you think positively, the result you get will be positive as well? This is all because when you think positively, you will eventually act positively, and in the end you will get the positive results that you want. Although it may not be true all the time, but thinking positively does help in creating the successful life that you always desire.

If you are a salesman and its raining, you may feel lazy to go out to meet your clients. This is what is happening to most people out there. Just change your thinking a little and twist it and you can end up getting more sales during a rainy day. When it is raining, you will have fewer competitors because most people are lazy to go for appointments. When it is raining, your clients will feel impress because you truly take him seriously and wanted to serve him even if it is raining.

The same if you come across any failure in your life. As long as you take it as an experience and consistently doing it without giving up, you will eventually succeed. Do you want to know how to never fail? If you do not want to fail, never give up until you get the success you want. If you never give up, you will never fail. This is how extraordinary people produce amazing results in their lives.

Positive Thinking Is A Start

When an event occurs to you, the first thing that will happen is that you will think about something in your mind. What you think about will determine how you decide and how you act. This is why positive thinking is so important; it is the starting point of all success!

When you think that something is possible, you will try to do it and even if you fail, you will learn the experience. On the other hand, if you think it is impossible, you do not even bother to do a thing about it. How many times when something seems impossible to you, there is someone out there thinks that it is possible and accomplished it?

You know it very well that success is not an accident. You will become what you think about most of the time. If you plant an oat seed, you will always get an oat tree. There is no accident in this universe. You have to believe that everything is moving in harmony. Therefore, you will always get the results that you put into your mind. If you think negatively, you will get the outcomes that you do not want.

There Is No Harm In Thinking Positive

Somehow, you are going to think about something anyway, thus, since you are going to think about something, why don’t you just think positively?

You are not going to lose anything in thinking positively, hence, try to notice what are the thoughts that you put into your mind most of the time. When you notice that you are thinking something negative, do a pattern interrupt such as saying ‘cancel’ out loud and focus your thoughts into something positive.

For example, if you fall sick, instead of thinking about your bad condition and bad health, think about how you can take a rest and maybe read some books or how you can spend time thinking and strategizing for your future. If you fall and injured yourself, do not think about how bad the situation will be, instead, think that you are lucky because you did not break your leg or something. As long as you are alive, everything will be great for you.

It may not be easy, but with a lot of practice and focusing on the right thoughts, you can change your thought and thus, change your life.

How to Let Go of Someone Deeply Loved

Sometimes you love someone so deeply that it hurts. You picture them in your life always but life doesn't always work that way. Sometimes you have to let go if the person has left or passes away.

1. Let yourself grieve. It hurts to lose someone you love deeply. Whether they leave or die, you will experience shock, anger and pain.

2. Understand the range of emotions you will feel. You know you will feel sad but your body will also experience shock if you lose someone you expected to be around forever. Know this feeling of shock is normal.

3.Allow yourself to feel angry because anger is a normal part of grief. You might be angry at the person for leaving or you might be angry at the world for the unfairness of it. Let yourself feel this as long as you don't do anything harmful to yourself or another.

4. Cry and let it out. You will be in unbelievable pain when you experience such loss. Your soul has been wounded so you need to cleanse yourself by letting your emotions out.

5. Find new interests as soon as you can. You want something to keep you busy and take your mind off of the grief.

6. Get counseling if you feel depressed. You many want to join a support group so you can talk to others who feel like you do. Turn to a friend who understands you and will support your needs.

7. Believe you will get through this. You may feel overwhelmed since it takes time to get over someone you love deeply but it will get easier.

The Magic Of Positive Thinking

Your thinking is one of the most powerful tools that you must leverage on if you want to achieve great success in your life. Using your mind to achieve what you want is the best success strategy, and to think big, is the most practical and easiest way.

Did you know that everything that comes into your eye will become pictures in your mind? Even when you are reading this post of mine, your mind will create pictures so that you can easily absorb what you are reading. Here is the key to thinking big, when you think about something, you think about it in picture, not in words.

This is what I called mind pictures. Whenever you think about something, your mind will create pictures or images from experience stored in your mind that you have come across before. When you speak or read, your mind automatically converts words and phrases into mind pictures.

If someone tells you he had just bought a brand new Nokia mobile phone, you will straight away see the picture of a mobile phone in your mind. Your mind pictures that you see are modified by the words that you use to name or describe things. Just like when someone tells you about BMW, you will straight away picture the shape of the car, the design and so on. But when someone tells you about MiniCooper, you will picture different images in your mind. This is how words play an important role in shaping your life.

Suppose you tell your friend, “I’m sorry to report that I’ve failed.” What will your friend see? What will he think about? He probably will see defeat and all the disappointment and grief the word ‘fail’ conveys. Now, what if you tell your friend, “Here’s a new approach which I think will work.” He will feel encourage and ready to try again.

What I’m going to tell you is that, you need to think positively, be an optimist instead of thinking negatively. Every successful people think positively, and this is their number one success strategy.

One thing about thinking is that, most people will think negatively instead of positively. If your thinking is conservative, it will be hard for you to improve. Everyday there are more signs of expanding opportunity, so don’t sell yourself short. When you see an advertisement in the newspaper, it is a job that you like, what will you do?

For most people, they will think, “What a great job, but I’m not good enough for this job, so why bother?” Or maybe you see someone that you really like but you don’t call her because you think that your standard is not as high as her, or maybe you think that you do not rate with her?

These are the common conservative thinking that most people will face in their lives. When you go for an interview, if the interviewer asks you what is your expected salary, what kind of answer will you give? Again, most people will put in a modest number because they feel that they are not worth the bigger sum that they would earn.

So rule number one in positive thinking:

“Never sell yourself short! You know you are better than that.”

So if you are someone who always think negatively or conservatively, what can you do in order to change it? Very simple, below are 3 simple steps that you can follow to help you develop as a positive thinker.

The 3 Simple Steps To Positive Thinker:

1. Use Positive Words In Your Daily Conversation

Always use positive words in your communication or when you are talking to yourself (in your mind). When someone asks you, “How do you feel today?” What kind of answer should you give? If you respond with an “I’m tired, I have a headache, I wish it was saturday and I’m not feeling good.” If you give this kind of answer, you are making yourself worse. You need to start from this, even it is just a small simple point, but it will give you tremendous power over the long period.

So next time when somebody asks you how do you feel, tell them that you are feeling wonderful, great or fantastic. Make sure your answer is a positive answer. You will feel better when your words changes to positive words. Remember this, “Fake it till you make it”.

2. Encourage and Praise Others Often

It is good if you can use positive words in your daily conversation. There is one more thing that you can do with your daily conversation, that is to praise other people. You need to learn how to use positive language to encourage people. Think about it, if you have a special word for your wife or husband everyday, notice that he or she will stay in a positive state all the time. And when this happens, the whole surrounding will become a positive one. This is how successful people can always be motivated all the time, because they make use of their environment by changing other people’s state.

This is a very powerful tool. Use it! Use it again and again, there is nothing wrong to encourage or praise people often. If you can encourage people with your words, why you don’t do so? It is a free tool!

3. Envision A Positive Future

Imagine that if you keep on complaining about your low-pay job, the plumbing that always getting fouled up, the lucky breaks somebody else just got, the doctor bills that are piling up, you are poor, etc. You will act as if you are sentenced to living in this kind of lousy life.

However, if you think of yourself as the person you want to be in the future, you will see yourself as someone who is successful, you’re not just a lousy clerk earning lousy salary, you don’t live in the crummy apartment, you don’t have to worry about bills and so on, will these motivate you? Of course it will. You will think bigger and in the same time, grow bigger.

So always remember that you have to envision a positive future. Don’t see yourself as someone lousy who are earning or living a mediocre life. What is happening to you now do not mean that it will be the same for you in the next few years. We all have the same mind, we can think whatever we want, so choose to think something positive whenever you can.

If you are not leveraging on this powerful tool, you are wasting a lot of your potential and what you can achieve in your life. Have you ever imagined what you are capable of in the future? What kind of person you want to be and what kind of financial level you want to achieve?

You have unlimited potential. It all starts from your mind, your thinking. So always think positively in every side of your life. This may seem like a mundane and tedious work, but it is the key to success. Bear in mind, this is one of the ultimate success strategies that will give you what you want, so practice positive thinking from now on.

How to Practice Positive Thinking

It is so easy to get pulled into negative thoughts and self-criticism. Once stuck in this pattern, it can be hard to break free. When you internalize all the derogatory things you have said about yourself or others have said to you, self-esteem suffers or becomes non-existent. If your negative thoughts are outweighing your positive thoughts, it is time to focus on feeling better about yourself.

Awareness

Begin with the simple step of awareness. Catch yourself as you begin to have these negative thoughts. Are you engaging in “stinkin’ thinkin’?” – the term used in the book, You Mean I’m Not Lazy, Stupid or Crazy?!, by authors Kate Kelly and Peggy Ramundo, who ask readers to visualize these negative thoughts as physical masses dragging us down. Being aware of these thoughts is the first step to getting better control of them.

Self Talk

We all have an inner monologue with ourselves. Sometimes it is as innocuous as, “I need to pick up some milk from the grocery store.” While other times it can have a negative connotation like, “I’m so spacey, I’ll never get promoted.” When you repeatedly engage in negative self talk, you begin to limit yourself and your abilities. To change this pattern, an individual must actively practice positive self talk.

Be a Neutral Observer

Sometimes it is easier for those on the outside looking in to appropriately assess situations. Try to become that neutral observer of yourself. Are you engaging in negative self talk because you are assuming too much responsibility for bad happenings? Do you automatically blame yourself when things go wrong? Do you tend to minimize or ignore your accomplishments and magnify the negatives? Talk with a trusted friend to get this outside perspective if you find it is difficult for you to do this on your own.

Reframe

If you have a negative thought, try to reframe it in a more positive way. If you are telling yourself - “I am so irresponsible, I can’t even get to the meeting on time” – dissect the thought. Get rid of the negative judgment and reframe the thought in a more productive way – “I was late to the meeting. What can I do to be on time the next time?”

Get Rid of Absolutes

If you find yourself using terms like “I always...” or “I never...” with associated negative thoughts, work hard to get rid of these absolute descriptions. “Always” or “never” implies that you aren’t capable of doing things differently and such absolutes can carry negative connotations.

Be Kind to Yourself

It is easy to slip into the pattern of being your own worst critic. You may say negative things to yourself that you would never dream of saying to another person because it would be too hurtful. Treat yourself with the same kindness. Don’t say anything to yourself that you wouldn’t say to another person.

Anger Problems - Effects of Poorly Managed Anger

Like poorly managed stress, anger that isn’t handled in a healthy way can be not only uncomfortable, but even damaging to one’s health and personal life. Consider the following research on anger:

One study from the University of Washington School of Nursing studied anger problems in husbands and wives. Researchers cited previous evidence that anger problems and depressive symptoms have been linked to all major causes of death, but found that wives specifically found a greater association between anger and symptoms of depression, while men tended to instead experience an association between anger and health problems.

According to a study from Ohio State University, those who had less control over their anger tended to heal more slowly from wounds. Researchers gave blisters to 98 participants and found that, after 8 days, those who had less control over their anger also tended to be slower healers. In addition, those participants also tended to have more cortisol (a stress hormone) in their system during the blistering procedure, suggesting that they may be more stressed by difficult situations as well.

Another study from Harvard School of Public Health studied hostility in men and found that those with higher rates of hostility not only had poorer pulmonary functioning (breathing problems), but experienced higher rates of decline as they aged.

Research with children and adolescents shows that anger management is important for the younger set as well. Findings showed that youth who cope inappropriately with their anger are at greater risk for problem-ridden interpersonal relationships. Their health is also at risk; those who cope poorly with anger tend to have more negative outcomes when it comes to both mental and general health. This highlights the fact that anger management is an important skill to learn early.

These are just a few of the many studies linking anger to physical and emotional health problems, from the obvious to the unexpected. Because poorly managed anger presents such a significant problem in so many areas of life, it’s important to take steps toward learning and using healthy anger management techniques in daily life, along with stress management techniques.